Few Firsts

I attended my first press conference today. As I sat watching eager, young reporters vying for attention and footage, I was glad I did not have to do this very often. Very good experience though. Great food! :)

A good presentation today - got some claps. Was embarassed as hell. It wasn't all that great!

I used my press card for the first time, waved it to the policeman who stopped my driver for jumping a signal. The power felt good.

I heard the Ektara on the train. Ethereal. A young, ragged boy. Somewhat like a busker. But he has no education to pay for. And no future to look forward to.

Destiny.

Wild Nights

I loved to get into that dress. My bag helped cover some of the skin, and I think it would hang better on Bvna. For some time I also thought that it was preway and wondered what it meant. What do you expect, I had 10 mugfulls inside me! More were to go. But Prive is lovely you know, you should visit.

I feel like a teenager this weekend, I feel the surge of love. It maybe temporary like so many things in my life, but it is good to know its still there.

I am entertaining tomorrow – one of the last in this house. And moving house next week. Prabhadevi. Yippee!

Why does it mean to us differently?

Just observe how the same thing can bring out different emotions in people. For example, Pragya said, “How cute!” to the Union Bank of India ad on the little curly haired fairy child burying broken teeth for her brother’s sports car, while Vishal did a pretend gag act. Though I tend to agree with Vishal on pretentious ads - but the point here was how different people tend to interpret a shared emotion.

Parent Child. I hate to feel it, but sometimes I do think my parents love me more than I bother to reciprocate. There are occasional bursts of zeal but much of the love is initiated by them. I try to be good, I really do. But I do think I can never care as much as they do. This is a relationship we share, where they give more.

Marital. Assuming you hadn’t faked it, and you split for incompatibility reasons, is it possible to start hating? Else why would a partner be cruel to another who loves him, sometimes also within a marriage?

Disconnected bizarre thought. What if love were a binary state? So we could just move from being 0 to 1 and back again when we see loved ones doing the same. Would that be better, you think? It saves much of the pain.

Watched Amoro Perros and Persepolis – astounding cinema.

Unrelated note – Planning a New Year trip – Any unusual, cheap, foreign jaunt we could take?

Hiccups

I am in media now, and really it is a whole new world out here. I understand none of the jargons; four letter words fly like the smoke-rings that line corridors, jeans clad legs sprawl along desks. Every second day is “Drinks anyone?!” It is nice and causal but slightly disconcerting.

Sometimes I think I’ve experimented too much with my life. Tried the wrong jobs, loved the wrong people – wasted too much of my time. Or did I?

Hard Rock was nice today, although it was tad difficult to make conversation with the other B channel clique. I liked Level 9, spunky lead singer. They were enjoying themselves.

That’s important. Mostly, I enjoy my experiments.

Where is it?

Isn’t it just easier to be nice?

When you stamp my foot and I smile (it takes some practice – especially in a local train) I see your scowl change into a smile. Now if I had frowned at you, wouldn’t you have frowned back? Wasn’t a smile simpler? I am sure it made your morning.

What makes you so cruel? Is it the power I gave you? My heart still feels, I am proud to say. That’s why it weeps. When did yours turn to stone?

Why would anyone do something like this – A crying destitute does not wring your heart?

Really, would a Christian orphan make the crime less heinous?

Where is your heart?